The Terrible Mixologist’s Guide to Nerdy Cocktails
Here at Nerds on Earth, our resident Nerd Dad also happens to be our resident Terrible Mixologist. You know what that means? Nerdy cocktail recipes for you!
Fill a short glass 2/3 full of ice. Add 2 ounces bourbon, 1 ounce sweet vermouth, and your 1 to 2 dashes of angostura bitters. Add bourbon-soaked cherry. Strip naked, paint yourself blue, levitate, and stir. Try not to destroy Earth.
Add 1 ounce lime juice, 1 ounce triple sec, and 2 ounces of tequila to a shaker and fill with ice. Shake well and strain into a cocktail glass. Turn a can of compressed air upside down and spray liberally into the glass.
Captain Jack Rose
Shake 1 ounce lemon juice, 1/2 ounce grenadine, 2 ounces applejack, a dash of sexual ambiguity with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass and serve with immortality.
(Shame on you for thinking of Jack Sparrow. There is only one Captain Jack.)
Fill a shaker with ice, then add 1 ounce dark rum, 1 ounce amber rum, 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice, 1 tablespoon triple sec, 1 tablespoon lime juice, 1 teaspoon of powdered sugar, a dash of almond extract, and a dash of grenadine. Shake well, then freeze into a solid wall and use to foil the approach of your enemies.
To a highball glass filled with ice, add 2 ounce of vodka. Top with orange juice. Use drink to unravel Gordian knots as quickly as Steven Moffat can tie them.
Muddle half a lemon and four mint leaves in a cocktail shaker, then top with ice. Add 1 ounce simple syrup and 2 ounces of bourbon. Shake gently—no seriously, gently; you won’t like it if it gets angry—then strain into a rocks glass filled with crushed ice. Serve with a dainty umbrella. Not recommended for people with anger issues.
So there you have it—the Terrible Mixologist’s favorite nerdy drinks. The drinks are free, but we’re all going to have to pay for those terrible jokes for a long time to come…
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