Top 7 Marvel Swimsuit Special Suits

Its already nearing that time of year when everyone will be worrying over and working on their “beach bod.”  Some will diet, some will take up running, and others will hit the gym to try and unearth their six pack.

But there’s a far simpler trick to having the body you’ve always dreamed of:

Have an illustrator.

From 1991 through 1995, Marvel released annual Swimsuit Specials starring headliners from all across their titles.  The existence of these five issues proves definitively that Marvel knows who is buying their books:  teenage males (primarily).

Most of the women’s suits ended up covering as little as possible and had almost no variation among them because…well…they didn’t need variation.  The theme itself served.

That said:  My list is comprised mostly of dudes because Marvel did get creative with their suits to some hilarious results.

Here are my Top 7 Best (or Worst?) Swimsuits from those issues!

Top 7 Marvel Swimsuit Special Suits

1.  Captain America

There is so much America in this pic it hurts.

Red, white, and blue tote.

Red, white, and blue umbrella.

Red, white, and blue towel.

And Rogers’ beach reading of choice: The Constitution, of course!

 

 

 

2.  Psylocke

The beauty of this particular suit of Psylocke’s is that it is basically the suit she runs around kicking butt in on the daily.  All she has to do to get ready to lounge in the nearest poolside chair with a drink with one of those tiny umbrellas in it is take her gloves, boots, and a couple of those random bands of cloth off (though she does leave a couple on for…reasons?).

That smirk she’s wearing says, “Ha!  I’m always the first in the pool.”

 

 

 

3.  Bullseye

Confession:  Bullseye’s inclusion in my list has absolutely nothing to do with his suit and everything to do with the caption to this pic.

It reads:

When the party invites were sent out, it was a sure thing that master assassin Bullseye was not on the list.  But, being “the man who never misses,” it became equally certain he would not miss out on this.

So, yeah, now party crashing is a direct effect of his power set.  Also: I’m pretty sure that flash in his right eye is a tear of sadness for having been left out. He even looks like he’s moping.

 

4.  Bishop

Today, one piece bathing suits are becoming increasingly rare for women. But in Bishop’s future, they must be all the rage for dudes because he’s rocking this setup hard. Although he does look like he’s throwing some serious shade at someone.  Probably literally everyone else at the beach with him who – just off panel – is mocking him mercilessly.

But we here at NoE fully support Bishop’s modesty.

 

 

 

 

5.  Cable and Domino.

Because these two just proved that they cannot go anywhere or do anything without large guns and plenty of pouches.  This pic more than any of the others made me laugh!

 

 

 

6.  Medusa

Marvel is definitely getting a little lazy with their definition of “swimsuit” here – even when it comes to defining what Black Bolt is wearing.

Oh, you didn’t even notice Black Bolt in the pic?

I mean, come on. You can’t possibly wear less than Medusa and still be included in the Marvel Swimsuit issue.

 

 

 

7.  Ghost Rider

I was wrong.