Who Wins It? Batman vs. Flash

Who wins a comic book fight of Batman vs. Flash? Does the Dark Knight even stand a chance against the Scarlet Speedster?

[divider] Who wins it? Batman vs. Flash [/divider]

There is a blur of red, lightning crackling across the surface of the ocean. The Flash has arrived on a rocky beach called Sapper Hill, on an island off the coast of Argentina. Barry Allen, the fastest man alive, scans the terrain, looking for any sign of the man they call the World’s Greatest Detective.

Flash Fact: There are still 20,000 land mines here left over the Falkland conflict. I don’t even want to know how Bruce managed to get the British government to give him access to the island, but it was a good choice. He’ll want to control the terrain. That means…

The first mines detonate, blossoming into shrapnel and flame. Laughing, Flash weaves around the explosions.

Aaaaand there they are. Clever, Bruce.

A mile away, Batman frowns.

No good. The mines should have kept him off balance. 

He keys in a sequence of commands to the unmanned Batplane, flying a holding pattern 15,000 feet over the island. At his signal, the Batplane banks, dropping 55-gallon drums of quick-drying riot foam on the island.

Flash Fact: Terminal velocity is the maximum speed an object in free fall can achieve: 9.8 m/s². In other words…

The barrels hit the island, the foam expanding and hardening, huge new flora the color of mushrooms. Lightning flashes as a red blur evades the new obstacles.

Too slow, Bruce.

He sees the Batmobile, an imposing tank, bristling with weapons.

Let’s get you in on this party. 

Batman has barely a moment to register the streak coming towards the Batmobile.

He’s not even a blur–he’s too fast for the eye to register. There’s a smear of red on the horizon, and in the next moment…It takes a second, maybe two. There’s a flicker of red light, and then he’s standing in front of the Batmobile. He’s stripped it down to the tires–bean bag rounds and tear gas canisters in a little pile at his feet. 

In an eyeblink, he’s standing on top of the Batmobile’s cockpit, knocking on the tempered glass.

“I know you’re in there, Batman. Ready to get this over with?”

If he says so.

An ear-splitting howl shatters the air, bringing the Flash to his knees. He’s clutching his head, his screams drowned out by the shrieking. Batman dives from behind a rock, a dozen yards from the Batmobile, and throws a pulsing blue grenade.

Barry’s the fastest man alive. But he’s still got eardrums. 

The grenade explodes in a white cloud. Even this far away, through his insulated suit, Batman can feel the chill.

Cryo-grenades. Adapted from Freeze’s tech. They’ll slow him down, but–

There’s a crack of lightning, and the Flash whips his head around, gritting his teeth against the pain and cold.

Stupid. Got impatient. Too fast. You planned for this, Bruce. But I can run a thousand scenarios of this fight every attosecond. And every one of them ends with you on the ground.

Batman has an instant to register the Flash take a step, and then:

Flash Fact: Force equals mass times acceleration.

He’s nowhere near top speed. But it’s still like getting hit by a truck.

Batman flies backward, clutching his chest. The Flash is breathing heavily, shaking his arms, trying to work off the cold. He sees Batman wincing as he goes for something in his belt.

“Oh, no you don’t!”

The next moment, Barry is holding the belt, upending it and dumping its contents on the ground.

“I think we’re done here,” he says to a panting Batman, on his hands and knees. “You can’t catch me. You’re smart enough to know that. Come on, Bruce. What was your endgame here?”

Through barely parted lips, Batman manages to choke out a laugh. “Heh…you’re breathing it.”

For a moment, Barry doesn’t understand. Then he coughs, once, twice, and falls to his knees next to Batman.

“It’s a derivative of Scarecrow’s fear toxin. Affects the motor control centers of the brain,” Batman says, painfully getting to his feet. “I’ve been pumping it out on the island ever since you got here.” He pulls a syringe from his boot and jabs it into Flash’s leg. “I developed this paralytic to subdue Killer Croc, so it’ll hold you for a while.” He stands, and keys in another sequence on his gauntlet. The Batplane swoops low, ready to extract Batman. “You’ll be fine in an hour or so,” he says to the motionless speedster. “But you won’t be running any marathons any time soon.”

He offers Barry a ghost of a smile. “Flash Fact.” 

[divider] Who Wins It? Batman vs. Flash [/divider]

Batman is victorious. Nerds on Earth readers selected Batman to be victorious as well, with over 65% of reader votes selecting the Caped Crusader to best the Scarlet Speedster.

Batman advances to the next round, and the stakes are raised.

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