Recently, two of us Earth Nerds (@EarthNerdJason and @EarthNerdAdkins) were called upon to use our nerdy superpowers to help someone with a very specific problem. A pastor friend was soon to officiate the wedding of her cousin…who was having a Batman themed wedding! (Holy nuptials, Batman!)
Said cousin was headed to the altar as Catwoman to marry her very own Bruce Wayne. Of course we immediately offered to write and and craft for her a one-of-a-kind Batman themed wedding speech. Most of the references are overt because we didn’t want to be so subtle that most of the nods went unnoticed. Plus, Adam West was never subtle.
Sadly, the speech did not end up being delivered from the pulpit, but it was gifted to the bride and groom. Enjoy!
Friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of [Bride’s name] and [Groom’s name] in marriage. In the time they have shared, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife. But this union promises to produce no ordinary dynamic duo…
In our lives, it can feel as if we are wandering around, sending out a signal in the sky, hoping that someone – anyone – can help us in our effort to find love. And it can feel like we are defeated at every turn. We wonder who stands on the side of love and justice? Who will answer our call? Will it take the work of the world’s greatest detective for us to find true love?
And yet you two have answered each other’s call. You are no longer alone but instead are here today to become partners, sidekicks, and, dare I say it, even super friends. But the road in front of you will not always feel like it does now, on this glorious day.
In your marriage, you are going to face many foes. Some days will feel like the deadly kiss of Poison Ivy – enticing you away from one another. Other days, it will be like you are living with two very different people: one a law crusading district attorney and the other an absolute megalomaniac psychopath. At times you will each feel as if the other is the Bane of your very existence.
And unfortunately for you, you are not likely to have a dapper British butler to guide you through these tough times with sage advice. You will not have a wise scientist with limitless resources who speaks truth in what sounds like the very voice of God. But you will have each other. And we hope that your love for one another proves so strong that it makes Harley’s love for the Joker seem like an infantile crush.
Today, stand against the cold feet. Stand against it like Mr. Freeze is waging war against this, your wedding day. [Bride’s name], beat him back with your bat-bouquet while [Groom’s name] retrieves your ring from his utility belt just in time to save the day!
And in those moments of greatest need, don’t hesitate to turn to your allies like your groomsmen: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and, yes, even Stephanie….and hopefully they stick around a little longer than your average sidekicks.